Always
by palepinkcoat
Summary: Trory. Rory revisits a painful past.


Disclaimer: Gilmore Girls belongs to Amy Sherman-Palladino, Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions, and Warner Brothers Television. No copyright infringement is intended.

Pairing: Rory/Tristan

Rating: PG-13

Author's Note: I don't know where this came from, but here it is. It's different from most of the things I write - I generally avoid dark pieces, but I think this one is okay. Well, okay considering I just read over it, and I'm crying. Yeah, lame I know. It's okay - because I like it. Anyway, please read and review - that would mean a lot to me.

- - - - -

Always

Rory wrapped her arms around her waist, pulling her coat tight around her. It was a brisk fall day, and the wind had just started to pick up. It was silent, with the exception of the branches breaking underneath her black heels.

To anyone who didn't know the events of the past two years, it would seem like any normal day. It was beautiful outside, but even that couldn't bring a smile to her face.

In her hand, she held a single, long-stemmed red rose, just like the one he had given her on the night that he proposed. She brought it to her lips, and took in it's sweet scent. She pressed it lightly against her lips, knowing that soon, it too would be gone.

When she reached the grave, her hands fell to her sides, and the rose slipped out of her fingers. It fell to the ground, losing a few petals a long the way. She looked at it, the image of a beautiful thing, that had been broken. That image hit close to home, as she knelt down to run her fingers over the letters on the tombstone in front of her. She spelled the name in her mind, taking a deep breath to hold back tears, as her hand fell to her side.

Tristan Dugrey, it read in all caps.

She ran the day through her mind, the day that her nightmare became reality.

- - -

"Mom?" She said, as she answered the phone. She glanced at the clock, it's big red numbers reading 7 PM. "Mom, what happened? Is everything okay?"

"Rory, you need to get up here pronto, babe."

"Mom - what happened?"

"Sweetie, just come."

"Where are you?"

"Beth Israel."

"You're in town?"

"We were going to surprise you."

"You're all cryptic Mom, that isn't like you. What's going on?"

"Babe - just get here, as quick as you can."

"Okay?," she managed to get out. "I'll be there in a few minutes."

- - -

She glanced over her shoulder to see her mom, Luke, and the girls waiting in the car. She shuddered a bit, when she realized just how much they looked like their father, with that blonde hair and those big blue eyes, so undeniably his.

She looked back at the tombstone. Beloved father and husband, it said a few lines under his name, in smaller caps. She ran her left hand over them, her ring catching just enough light to catch her attention.

She felt tears well up in her eyes, but did her best to fight them back. She didn't have the heart to leave the girls with her mom and Luke, or Paris and Jess for yet another night.

- - -

She sprinted into Beth Israel. She looked around, and saw her mom and Luke in the waiting room. She ran a hand through her hair, and walked over towards them.

"What happened?"

"Excuse me, which one of you ladies is Mrs. Dugrey?," a man in a lab coat said as he stood behind Rory.

She took a deep breath, and turned around. "I am," she said as she crossed her arms against her stomach.

"Ma'am, your husband was in an accident."

"When? Where is he? I want to see him…"

"You can, but before you do, you should know that he was badly injured. The paramedics had to cut him out of his car."

"Oh God.." she muttered, "Take me to him, please."

The doctor nodded, "Right this way."

She looked back at her mom and Luke for a bit of support, and the followed the doctor, who led her to a room down the hall.

She took a deep breath, and pushed the door open. She closed her eyes, and began to cry when she saw him.

"Tris?," she said, walking over and taking a seat next to his bed.

"Ror, you're here."

"Of course."

"I didn't want you to see me like this…"

"Tristan," she began, but began crying again. 

He reached over, and took her hand, "Shh...it'll be okay, I'll be fine."

"You're hooked up to all these machines…and you're saying it'll be fine?"

"Yeah, because it will be."

She looked up at him, "What happened?"

"She ran the red light, and lost control of her car, and hit me…she hit me hard Rory, I blacked out. The next thing I remember is the paramedics bringing me here."

"Oh God," she muttered under her breath.

"Did the doctor talk to you?"

"Yes, he did."

"I didn't want you to see me like this Ror, I didn't think it was this bad."

"Have they talked to you?"

"Not yet, I think they're waiting on the test results," he said. "Where's Leigh?"

"She's with Paris and Jess, I dropped her off on my way here," she replied, "You've got a black eye."

He reached up, and touched under his left eye, wincing as he touched the bruise.

"Ice?"

"No thanks."

"They haven't told you anything?," she asked, as a doctor entered the room.

"Yes?" Tristan asked the doctor, as he approached his bed.

"I've got your test results."

He took a deep breath, "Okay." 

"I think it would be best if you and I discussed it, and you can fill your girlfriend in."

"She's my wife, and she stays."

"So be it," the doctor said.

- -

It had been silent since the doctor left the couple to process the news.

"A heart condition," she said, "with a name that I can't pronounce."

"It'll be okay…he said that it can be treated." 

"A transplant? Tristan, that's not an easy fix…or an easy find."

"I'm on the list, give it some time."

"What if we run out of time?"

"It won't happen."

"It could, there's a big chance that it will," she said, "What am I supposed to do knowing that there's a chance that I'll have to live without you?"

"You'll be okay, because I'm not going anywhere."

"What about Leigh? What do we tell her?"

"We tell her the truth."

"She's three years old Tristan," she said, "She won't understand."

"We'll make it so that she can understand."

- -

A few months later, they got the phone call. The call that would change their lives. They packed a small bag for Tristan, and headed to the hospital.

Rory held Leigh, as the two girls walked into his room. "She wanted to talk to you before she goes with Paris and Jess," she said, as she handed her to Tristan.  
  
"You did?"

The three year old nodded, and smiled. "I made this Daddy," she handed him a picture.

He smiled as he looked at it. It was of the three of them, smiling.

"Thank you sweetheart."

She smiled, and hugged him.  
  
"Okay sweetie, it's time to go," Rory said, walking over beside the bed. "Give Daddy a kiss."

Leigh did as she was told, before Rory whisked her away to a very pregnant Paris.

"Take good care of her."  
  
"Always," Paris replied. "Let me know how it goes, okay?"

"I will," she said, "Thanks again Paris."

Rory hugged her friend, and walked back into her husband's room. She leaned against the door, and looked at him. He scooted over a tiny bit, and patted the spot next to him. She walked over, and climbed into the bed, leaning her head on his chest. He kissed the top of her head, and ran his fingers through her hair.

Time must have passed quickly, because right as the couple drifted off to sleep, there was a knock on the door. Three or four nurses entered the room, and signaled that it was time for the surgery.

Rory walked out of the room alongside of his bed, never releasing his hand.

They reached the double doors, and the nurses paused, because she couldn't go any farther.

She leaned down to him, "I love you."

"I love you more," he replied, with a smile and a squeeze of her hand.

She smiled back through her tears, "Not a chance," she said as she leaned over and kissed him.

- -

A few hours later, the doctor walked down the long hallway with his hands in his pockets. He walked through those double doors, and towards them.

Lorelai squeezed her daughter's hand as they stood, meeting the doctor.

"I'm Dr. Jacobson, I operated on your husband Mrs. Dugrey."

She nodded, and leaned against her mom.

"The surgery went well…"

Rory smiled at her mom.

"…however, we still have some hurdles to get through before we know if his body will accept the heart. These next few hours are crucial."

Her smiled shattered, as she took a deep breath, in an effort to keep her composure.

"How's he doing?," Lorelai asked, pulling her daughter into her arms.

"He's all right."

"Will she be able to see him?"

"Yes, she can see him as soon as he gets out of the recovery room."

"When will that be?"

"An hour at the most."  
  
"Thank you doctor"

- - -

"The girls have gotten so big, you wouldn't believe it. Leigh started Pre-K last week, and Robyn's looking more like you everyday," she said, "They're amazing Tris, and they love you so much."

She paused for a moment, collecting her thoughts. They were jumbled, as usual, but today, today was different. It had been one year. He had been gone a year. She still missed him as much as she did in the beginning, as much as she had always missed him when he was away. Life wasn't the same without him. It never would be. She would always be his girl, it was just the nature of their relationship. Everybody knew it - they could see in in their eyes. It was that kind of love - the kind that surpasses death, and lasts forever.

"I miss you. More than ever. I wish you were here. Everyday I wish that you were here. Because you would know the right thing to say, and do. You always did. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I need you. I need you, the girls need you. I'm lost without you, Tris."

- - -

He had been sick for awhile now, the doctors kept telling her that it wouldn't be much longer, but each time her denial grew.

He had gotten really ill late one night, and had asked for her to call everyone. Everyone came, they each went in and talked to him. She sat on the stairs, with her head in her hands.

Eventually, he'd call for her. She would go running, just like she always had. But this time, she couldn't run away. Not this time, she had to see him. Be with him, in his arms, one last time.

She walked up the stairs, and sat on the bed next to him. He pulled her close, and held her.

"What am I supposed to do without you Tris?"

"Live, Rory, live life just like you always have. Be the same person, be the person that the girls need you to be. Be there for them, make sure they know how much I love them. I love them more than everything Rory…everything except you."

She looked up at him.

"I love you more than I thought I could ever love someone. You're my life. You, and the girls. Keep them safe."

She nodded.

"Rory - I want you to find someone else, don't be alone. Find someone who loves you just as much as I do."

"I don't know if I can do that Tris."

He nodded, "I didn't think so. But please, don't be upset, Rory, it's going to be okay."

"How can it be okay if you're not here?"

"I'll always be here Rory, always. I just won't be here, be here. I'll be in here," he said, touching her chest, near her heart. "Always Rory, always."

She held him close.

"You'll always be my girl."

"Always."

"I love you."

"I love you more.."

"Not a chance," and soon after that, he was gone.

- -

The following weeks were the hardest of her life. The funeral, everyone's visits, asking her if she was okay, the fake plastered smiles, and most of all - his absence. She saw him everywhere. In her dreams, in pictures, heard him walking through the house. At night, she slept on his side of the bed, because it still smelled like him.

The girls spent time with the people they came to know as family, Paris and Jess, or actual family - Luke and Lorelai. Rory needed time, everyone told themselves.

Months passed, and soon they turned into a year, and that led her to where she is now.

- - -

She kissed her hand, and pressed it on the headstone.

"I'll always be your girl…," she whispered, "Always."


End file.
